


In thy heart

by aaxbbxx



Series: The Universe is Ours • 2nd Oneshot Collection [5]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Historical, i honestly don't know, i wanted to try something new, kinda angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22590826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaxbbxx/pseuds/aaxbbxx
Summary: In historical times, a prince and his most loyal servant fell in love. How will they stay true to their heart?
Relationships: Park Minhyuk | Rocky/Yoon Sanha
Series: The Universe is Ours • 2nd Oneshot Collection [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1600558
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	In thy heart

“Your highness, your daily lectures are starting within the hour.” 

Yoon Sanha, one of the three princes of Joseon, looked up from his vast breakfast to see his adviser writing in his notebook – also his royal guard, his only condition to the King. 

“Minhyuk, why are you so uptight?” Sanha pouted, eating slowly just to irritate his closest companion.

The writing of the brush stopped. “Your highness, one must not use such informal words.”

Sanha sighed, it was always like this. Though, it didn’t used to be. He remembered the good old days, but then it all changed.

_ “Your majesty, I beg of you.” _

Was it all for naught? Sanha peeked at Minhyuk, his heart clenching at the blank look sported in the other’s face. Not one emotion leaking through, so unlike the Minhyuk he used to know. 

“I finished.” Sanha announced, quickly his two servants came and cleared his breakfast, paying respects to him as they exited his room. He waved at them then pointed at Minhyuk, making a silly face, they giggled before closing the door. 

The notebook slammed close, Minhyuk getting up from the floor. His hand gestured towards the door, eyes not meeting Sanha’s. It never did anymore. “Your Majesty.”

Sanha looked at Minhyuk for a long time. He watched as nothing ever changed in his posture, nor did he look at the prince. He waited, and waited; maybe another word would be spoken, but nothing. So he stood, walking by Minhyuk, heart clenching in pain, before he left.

Even if this was what he had to live through, Sanha would never regret his decision.

••

Sanha had managed to slip away from his chambers in the middle of the night without any of his servants nor Minhyuk knowing. The little secret exit door that he and his older brothers had found years ago, serving its purpose for his little escape. He made sure to stay in the shadows, avoiding the roving night guards that protect the palace. Once his eldest brother’s chambers were in sight, he hurriedly went and knocked, his brother’s Eunuch immediately welcoming him in, not without a fond scolding of him being there alone and unguarded to visit the Crown Prince. 

“Ah! If it isn’t my little brother. What trouble did you do now?”

Sanha’s face brightened with a grin at the teasing call of his brother as soon as he was let in his room. His brother waved him in, his table filled with some late night snacks that they both know would be finished by the time Sanha had to go back to his chambers.

“Hyungnim, why must trouble always accompany your greeting?” Sanha retorted, sitting down on the floor, reaching for some sweet persimmons. 

“Is it not true?” Junha raised a brow, pouring some tea for his youngest brother. He looked at Sanha thoughtfully for a moment.

“Where’s Jeha Hyungnim? He often beats me to your chambers, always eating my beloved persimmons first.” Sanha asked, accepting the tea before eating another bite of his sweets.

“Jeha has matters to attend to in the morning with  _ abamama _ . Don’t ask, I’m not allowed to say.” Sanha pouted, ripping a piece of sweet harshly with his teeth. Then, he felt like he was being watched, and as he raised his head slowly, he saw his brother looking at him with furrowed brows.

“What is troubling you?” The question made Sanha pause, there was never hiding anything from his brother. Though, he tried to hide it at best, he knew it would eventually come out. “I’ve noticed how...quiet you’ve become. Even father noticed, and is worried. As much as he jokes about you to stay silent, he loves your hyperactive self.” Junha took a sip of tea before placing it on the table. “So, tell me what worries your mind.”

Sanha smirked down at his reflection in the small tea cup. “Of course,  _ wangseja _ , nothing ever gets past you.”

“Stop it. It’s just you and me, no formal titles. I’m your brother, I worry.”

Sanha sighed, forgetting his posture and instead laid down on his side, looking up at his brother. “Was this my punishment? For being selfish?”

Junha took a long look at him. “Is this about Minhyuk?” Sanha rolled his eyes. “Of course it would be.” 

“So?” Sanha prompted. “Is it?”

“Look,” Junha poured himself some more tea. “I can not directly answer you that, but from my perspective, you  _ did _ do something selfish. You thought of only yourself, and controlled someone’s own life. You know well yourself how that is.”

Sanha frowned. “I thought you’d be consoling me, not berate me.”

“You asked, I answered truthfully. But to answer your question...If this was punishment...You only have yourself to answer to that.”

“Hyungnim! That’s not even an answer!” Sanha sat up quickly, whining.

Junha only shrugged and at that moment, the topic was blown away by the wind. 

Later, as Sanha sneaked out from his brother’s chambers, his brother called out to him.

“You know well what to do.”

With that thought in mind, Sanha had gone back to his chambers, unnoticed – and until the morning, he thought.

••

“Sanha!” The King yelled, the Queen cried. The two brothers stared.

Sanha smiled tightly, bowing his head. “This is my wish.”

His father looked at him, shock, concern, confusion. His mother could only weep, while his brothers were in between.

“I understand Minhyuk, but this? You’re too young!”

“ _ Abamama _ ,  _ Omamama _ , I am of age. I have fully explained my need and reason for such request. I’m sure, brothers,” He looked at his older brothers, Junha finally looking at him in understanding while Jeha, with empathy, “they understand it as well.”

His father looked to the side, while his mother cried. “But my son! Why?”

“Eomma,” the loss of formalities, made his mother stand up and came upon him, embraced him with all her might. “Please. It’s for me. I  _ have  _ to do this.”

His mother continued to cry, until at last.”

“Then,” his father stood up, “it shall be done.”

Sanha looked up in shock, was not expecting for a quick approval. He thought he would have to beg for days. 

“As King, I do not approve,” his father said, making Sanha drop his head. “But as your father, I...don’t truly understand, but I will try. If you’ll excuse me, I have some matters to attend to.”

His father walked by his form, his mother still wrapped around him, and patted his shoulder. “I will miss you, son.”

Sanha smiled gratefully, his father’s leaving footsteps echoing while he tried to console and reassure his mother.

••

  
  


Minhyuk looked surprised, though Sanha was not all too sure with the other’s face not changing in emotion – the only indication is the raise of one brow. He had asked his father to deliver the news himself, before sending Minhyuk off to get settled.

“Your dream is it not?” Sanha teased grinning widely, though his heart was weeping. Minhyuk only hummed, fingers holding on to the scroll tightly. “You should go, you leave in the morning.”

Minhyuk didn’t say anything for a while, Sanha’s heart almost filled with hope – maybe he’d refuse, maybe he’d say something, until he nodded, bowed, and left Sanha’s chambers, along with it, the prince’s heart.

That was their last encounter.

For living so long in the palace, and being the youngest, Sanha had often been left behind by his brothers – though that never affected their bond. So when his father’s right hand, his head Royal Guard brought his son with him to the palace after his wife had died, Sanha found a friend in this new kid, so in awe of the palace. His name was Minhyuk. 

As they grew together, they spent almost every minute of each day together. They had their lectures together, often sending their tutors crazy with their behaviour. Sanha had known though, as the years went by, his feelings for his friend were not just of that nature, it had slowly turned into something more. He hadn’t known any prince in history that had such feelings for the same gender, and was scared of this revelation. But he couldn’t hide anything from his family, and was forced to tell them the truth about himself. All they did was laugh and said, they already knew. He wasn’t sure what his future would be like with that revelation, but it was a good thing he wasn’t the Crown prince. It would have been harder.

Of course, as they aged, Minhyuk had voiced his want to follow his father’s footsteps. At first, Sanha was all for it, urging his best friend on, trainings and alike, until he found out what it meant for him and Minhyuk. Minhyuk’s father was almost always in the palace, the King not trusting anyone else almost as much as he trusted his long time loyal friend. So Sanha assumed, when Minhyuk wanted to become part of the Royal guard, he’d also be just right  _ there _ , by his side. But that wasn’t the case. Minhyuk’s eyes shined, when he talked about wanting to leave the palace. He’d go on and on, imagining what it looked like, how he wanted to travel, go with the troops that would go from village to provinces. Living outside the palace walls.

That was when Sanha realized, he’d lose Minhyuk. So he did what he thought was best. 

He ended up losing him anyway.

_ Sanha nodded his gratitude to his father’s Eunuch, before entering the great library where his Father spent his free time.  _

_ “Ah, Sanha!” His Father greeted him, Sanha bending down in response. _

_ “Your Majesty.” The King waved him off, winking at him. _

_ “No people here, what do you want you rascal?” _

_ Sanha grinned, plopping down in front of his father, stealing some snacks on the tray. His father glared at him playfully. He only shrugged in response. He looked around the room, sighing.  _

_ “I…” He started, but then closed his mouth. _

_ His father put down the book he was reading, frowning in concern. “What is it?” _

_ Sanha looked down, swallowed nervously before looking up. “I have a...request.” _

Sanha thought he did a good thing. He wouldn’t be left behind anymore. He told himself, it was dangerous out in the palace, what if he’d get  _ hurt? _ He kept his mouth shut and watched as his best friend became quiet and withdrawn. The news not accepted as gently as Sanha expected. He felt guilt eating at him, felt like he was betraying his own friend. Which he did. 

_ “Your majesty, I beg of you.” _

_ “Sanha…” His father’s face was disapproving, disappointed. _

_ “Please...I can’t let him. I’ll do anything.” _

_ The King stood, shook his head. “I’ll do this because you are my son, but the only thing I request is you tell him, that it was you behind it.” _

_ The door to the library closed, Sanha staring at his father’s departure. Why did he feel even more burdened than relieved? _

When he couldn’t take it anymore, he told him –  _ told _ him of his deceit. Since then, Minhyuk had stared with betrayed eyes, full of hurt and hate. Until it turned blank, unknowing, like Sanha wasn’t someone he knew anymore. Sanha himself didn’t  _ know _ himself anymore. But he maintained his excuses, thinking it was right, until... So he let him go, just as he should have done two years ago.

“Are you ready to go, your highness?” Sanha looked up, Eunuch Noh – who used to be his father’s Eunuch – smiling at him gently. They were set to leave the palace. To live in one of the small villages, Sanha had hand picked himself, some miles away far from the royal kingdom. Because his father did not want to entrust him to anyone else, he urged his own Eunuch to become Sanha’s, to guide him and look after him. Sanha’s old Eunuch had understood, and frankly the prince saw how relieved the other was to stay behind the palace walls.

“I’m sorry you had to leave the palace.”

Eunuch Noh bowed politely and chuckled. “Your highness...It is my honour to serve you. No need for apologies.”

Sanha hummed, before he followed after his Eunuch out of his chambers, and outside where his family waited, with his horse that would carry him out of what he called home since he was born. There were only a few men, his leaving a secret affair and he told his parents that he didn’t  _ need _ a sending off, but they insisted; he was the youngest after all. 

“I guess this is goodbye.” Sanha told them, hands in his mother’s hands, the King and his brothers surrounding them. “I’ll write letters, of course. Annoy you in them, as usual. Just because I wouldn’t be physically here, doesn’t mean you can escape me.” He laughed.

“Ah! And here I thought I’ll finally be at peace!” Jeha moaned in despair, before he straightened at being elbowed by their eldest brother. “Ow!”

“Be good. Be safe.” The King said, patting his shoulder. 

“I love you my son.” His mother told him, cupping his cheek as he towered over her. The eyes of the queen were glistening, but he knew his mother wouldn’t cry until she was in privacy.

“Thank you…” he said suddenly, he knew they understood what he meant. “I love you all. I’ll visit in a while, or perhaps you can.”

Sanha finished his goodbyes, before getting on his horse, his Eunuch doing the same. Without another look back, they left.

* * *

“ _ Mama! Mama! _ ” Sanha looked up, smile bright on his face and shook his head.

“Noh, how many times do I tell you? Just call me Sanha.” He stood up, dusted his robes, as his Eunuch approached him, panting.

Eunuch Noh looked scandilized, at the mere thought of calling a royal prince with informalities, and shook his head. “Your highness, I’ve been looking for you! I almost had a heart attack, waking up without you anywhere to be seen!”

Sanha laughed, “You know I’d be here in the garden or with the children in the village. Anyway, it’s time to harvest some vegetables.” He grabbed an empty basket by his feet and threw it at his eunuch, who fumbled before holding it with both hands. “Get to work, we have to finish before breakfast starts so the others can have these potatoes.”

When they arrived in the small village of Aroha, Sanha was welcomed with open arms. As much as the people knew he was the prince, they treated him like an equal, which he felt grateful for – though, like his eunuch, they wouldn’t drop formalities with him. He got used to it. Then, he was at a loss on what to do, he didn’t want to just settle in the village with nothing to contribute, until he saw one man playing an instrument with strings and was surrounded by children; he remembered that he knew how to play and decided to teach some of the village children. He also decided to learn how to garden, after finding out how most of the villagers grew their own food and he became amazed. So he had his own, and it became almost soothing, providing his mind some breather and to avoid thinking of things – of someone.

Sanha wrote back and forth with his family, always evading the invite of going to the castle for a visit. Although he promised, he felt he wasn’t ready for that yet. Still hurting, even though he knew he didn’t have the right to be, when he was the one who did the wrong thing. It was almost half a year since, but he still wasn’t able to forget, nor forgive himself. But he was trying. 

“The lady Seyeon forgave him for his sins, and he worked hard to gain her trust and affection again. In the end, they lived happily ever after.”

Sanha stared at the firepit, the sounds of echoing delight of children and women alike, including a few men, of the end of the story by one of the elderly ladies. It had become a tradition, that every night, a tale was told and it brought the village together. The genre would change every day and no one knows what it would be until the sun had set and everyone crowded around the firepit and listening intently. 

“ness...Your highness?” Sanha looked up, smiling at the handful of kids in front of him. He watched as the rest of the village were bidding their goodbyes, heading home for the night. He didn’t realize he had spaced out.

“Sorry, I was lost in thought. What did you guys need? shouldn’t you all be running off to bed, so you’d grow as tall as the tree like me?” He teased them, grabbing one of them and tickling him. The other children laughed in delight, before he released his hold on Jin, one of the kids he often taught. 

“We were curious, have you fell in love?”

Sanha’s heart was jolted, blinking in surprise at the question. He looked at their earnest faces, felt his pounding heart. He smiled gently, trying not to let them see the sadness behind it.

“Yes.”

“Oh! Was she a princess? Did you have to leave her? Did she love you back?”

The questions were fired right after the other, all of his answers coming out in choked, “No’s.”

“Aw, why not?” Jin pouted, looking almost heartbroken.

“I did something bad…” Sanha admitted. 

Jin and the rest stared at him thoughtfully before nodding slowly. Sanha thought it was time for them to go home before it gets too late.

“C’mon, you boys better go home to sleep, your mothers are probably already wondering where you all were. Go now, and the first one to get up early for lessons, can play the instrument first.” Their yelps of delight echoed, and they left yelling their goodbyes, hoping to play first the next morning in their minds, Sanha watching them with a smile. But one of them stopped before turning back to Sanha. It was Jin.

“If she loved you too, she’ll forgive you. As long as you said sorry. Just like Lady Seyeon.” Then, he too ran off into the night.

Sanha was left there, shocked and wondering. How are children so insightful these days? 

••

Sanha had been up all night, his eunuch’s snores echoing in the house, his mind filled with thoughts he tried hard not to think about. 

The prince knew what he did was wrong. He also knew he had no right to feel hurt and heartbroken about it, but he was. He was hurt. He was heartbroken. He was someone who felt his heart broke to pieces. He wished he was rejected for his  _ love _ . He wished it was because Minhyuk knew of his affection, maybe then it wouldn’t hurt this much with the unknowing. If he knew how Minhyuk felt for what  _ he _ felt, then he could understand. Not like  _ this _ . 

Sanha sat up from the floor, the dimly lit room in sight. His chamber wasn’t small, nor was it big. It was almost empty, even. But why does he feel suffocated? Like the room was closing in? So he stood, abandoning the thought of sleep – it was useless with the sun coming up in a couple of hours anyway. This time, he wrote a note and left it outside his eunuch’s room across his, to prevent the old man having a heart attack and prevent looking for him. 

Sanha walked out of the house, outside still dim but bright enough. His garden wasn’t too far from home, so he started his journey. When he decided he wanted to have his own, he realized he didn’t have enough land at the back, and so was led by one of the farmers to a piece of fertile land, just enough for his needs. It was at the end of the village, far enough from the rest but not too far from his own. It wasn’t big, it wasn’t small, but just enough for him. 

He passed by some early risers, waving at them in greeting before reaching his garden. He suddenly felt calm, awashed with relief almost, then he set to work. In no time, he forgot about everything else, thoughts pushed back in his mind as he went about in his garden. By the time he was done for the day, the morning dew soaked the ends of his robes and the bright morning sun shone down at him. He raised his head and closed his eyes, basking in it. 

“Your highness–”

“Noh.” Sanha chuckled, opening his eyes before frowning at the look of hurried concern in the other’s face. “What? Did you not read my note?”

“I did, but your highness, there’s something you need to know–”

Sanha waved his hand dismissively, stretching out before standing on his feet. “Whatever it is, it can wait till later. It’s time for some lessons for the children.”

“But–”

Sanha waved him off again, chuckling. When he passed his eunuch, he patted his shoulder. “Relax.” Then he left, not noticing the look of panic and apology on his eunuch’s face. He didn’t realize, the torment on his heart coming his way.

When he gave his lessons, he didn’t notice anything amiss, though he did hear of some visitor coming to town, but he only shrugged the thought of a man passing through their village before leaving all too soon. Almost at the end of his lessons, he had left Jin and the rest of the children alone for a mere moment to get something to give them to aid their playing, and stepped in the house. He took what he needed and as he was about to step foot out, he stood still at the entrance of his door, his whole body almost paralyzed at what greeted him.

The smile was the same. Though it had been too long since he last saw one from him, it still brought the same feeling it did whenever it was headed his way. 

“Wow! You know the prince?” Jin was saying, the rest of the children flocked around the man. Asking question after question.

Minhyuk. Minhyuk was there. Before he could say anything, Sanha cleared his throat, making the other man look up, his smile dimming slightly. They held gazes for a moment, before Sanha turned to Jin and the rest of the children, grinning brightly and raising his shaking hands.

“Look what I have? These are to help. Now, I’ll see you later okay?” Sanha gave it to them before one by one, the kids left, waving him goodbye, excited chatter echoing after them.

Sanha watched them disappear into the distance, knowing full well he was being watched. He wasn’t sure what to do next. Was he supposed to welcome him? What was Minhyuk even doing in the village? Then his memory flashed his eunuch’s face that morning, and now he understood why his eunuch insisted he needed to know about something. It was Minhyuk’s visit. 

“Your highness…” he closed his eyes, letting Minhyuk’s voice wash over him. It had been too long. Too long since he’d seen him, too long since he’d heard his voice. He took a deep breath and pasted a smile on his face, pretending seemed to be second-nature to him, before he whirled around and greeted him.

“Ah Minhyuk! I didn’t know you were visiting the village. Had I known, I would have prepared. Did your troop come by near our village? What brought you here?” He asked, going around him and gesturing for Minhyuk to follow him inside. They both sat on the floor, Minhyuk still not answering his questions. Sanha chuckled nervously. “Did you want something to drink? Or eat? I can ask Eunuch Noh–”

“Sanha.” The prince’s eyes jumped to meet his, surprise evident at the use of his name. Ever since his deceit, Minhyuk had never called him by his name ever again, hearing it now… 

Sanha pretended not to be affected, “It’s after noon now, you know. How about it? Maybe some small snack? Eunuch Noh!” He called out, knowing his eunuch was never far, and as he predicted, his eunuch came in not a moment later, wincing at the scene that greeted him. The eunuch knew what happened between the two, with Sanha’s request to the king, though Sanha didn’t know his eunuch knew, but the King thought it was best to let him know as to know what to expect. “Bring us some snacks and some tea. We have a visitor.”

When Eunuch Noh came back, he looked between the two silent men. After he had left, Minhyuk had opted to stay silent and not answer any of Sanha’s questions. The prince had talked at him for a few minutes before giving up and rendered the room silent. The eunuch left with a wave of dismissal from Sanha, and as he did so, he hoped whatever happens in the room doesn’t hurt either of the two.

Sanha took the tea in his shaking hands. He never thought he’d see Minhyuk again, much less in front of him and drinking tea with him. He was content to only hear of good news from him, but otherwise he was happy to live ignorant about Minhyuk, it would only hurt more if he knew. But here they were… He wasn’t even sure if the other would speak but as he took a sip of his tea, Minhyuk opened his mouth.

“You don’t live in the palace anymore.” It wasn’t a question, more a statement. Sanha wasn’t sure how to respond. “I came to visit my father, and was informed you had left. Shortly after I did.” Minhyuk placed the tea back on the table, raising his eyes to Sanha’s. “Why?”

Sanha remained calm, even if his heart was beating hard in his chest. He could lie, but he promised himself he wouldn’t ever lie again. So he told the truth. “I felt like it.” It was true. Though it was only part of the reason. He smiled and shrugged. “Brothers were getting busy, and I thought I could be busy myself.”

“But living alone?”

“I’m not alone–”

Minhyuk frowned. “Not what I meant.”

Sanha looked down and sighed. “What did you come here for? To interrogate me?”

The other remained silent for a moment, before… 

“I…” 

Sanha looked up, watching Minhyuk struggle for words, and when he didn’t add anything to it. He smiled fakely. “Look, you can stay however long you wish for. Whatever your reason to be here, I don’t need to know. When do you leave?”

“In two days.” Minhyuk answered.

“Then, feel free to stay here, I’ll let Noh know we’ll need to prepare you an extra room. Then, if there’s nothing else, I have matters to attend to.” Sanha stood, followed by Minhyuk, who bowed to him, before he left.

As soon as he was out of view, he ran. Away from Minhyuk.

•••

It was late at night, and Sanha was at his garden. He had opted to skip the telling of the tale for the night, knowing Minhyuk would be there, surely his eunuch would have brought him there. Throughout the afternoon, he wasn’t bothered by anyone, as he tended to his garden, not even his worrisome eunuch who’d often come by and nag him about the time. He was grateful.

He needed time to think, as though he didn’t have enough of it already. But having Minhyuk in the flesh, was throwing him off of his axis. He wasn’t sure what to do next. But the other would only stay for two more days, surely he could survive until then? After that, he’d never see him again.

Why did that last thought bring a pang of sadness in him? Didn’t he already live without him for the past half year? What was different now?

The prince stood, wincing at the pang of ache in his knees of being bent down for too long. He sighed knowing he couldn’t put off coming back home. He kept all his tools in their proper places, left some words towards his growing vegetation, and started walking back. It was silent, just as it should be, and as he was close by, he saw there were no candles lit, indicating his eunuch and Minhyuk were already fast asleep. He made sure that he was as quiet as a mouse upon entering, and silently made his way into his room – just right across from where Minhyuk was staying. He didn’t bother with lighting a candle, the room still illuminated enough from the moon outside that he could see what he was doing. He changed from his clothes, and slipped on his sleeping robe, leaving it untied as he laid down on his back. He placed a hand over his eyes and sighed.

Sanha couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t sure how long time had passed, but it was still dark outside. He sat up and sighed. He looked around the room, trying to see if anything were to aid him to sleep but came up with nothing. He listened for any movements, all just hearing the usual snores of his eunuch and decided to slip out and sit outside. He walked towards the door, and as he slipped it open, the room across his also opened – simultaneously, he met eyes with Minhyuk, who looked just as surprised to see him awake. His eyes moved down and the prince cleared his throat and looked away seeing Minhyuk in just his sleeping robe similar to his which was open and untied, showing him a chiseled chest. It also reminded him of himself and he quickly brought his robe to a close.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He asked, and Minhyuk looked away and nodded. “Well, I was going to get fresh air…”

“I’ll leave you to your privacy, your highness.” Minhyuk spoke lowly, the prince almost straining to hear before the door to his room shut again. Sanha stood there, gazing at the door,  _ so close yet so far _ …

He stood there for a long time, gazing and waiting. He wasn’t sure for what, but he ended up turning back into his room, the thought of fresh air suddenly gone… 

***

“Are you sure you’ll be alright, your highness?” His eunuch met his eyes through the mirror in which he stood in front of. His eunuch’s brows were knit together in concern and worry. He had to leave for the day and won’t be coming back till the next fortnight. He would be needing to visit the next town, and usually the prince would be tagging along with his eunuch, but since Minhyuk was staying with them, his selfishness wanted to stay nearby. “The King will kill me if he were to find out I left you all alone, you know I can postpone it–”

“Noh.” Sanha turned, placing both hands on his eunuch’s shoulders. “Go! I’ll be fine. Besides Minhyuk would be here, he is not a royal guard for nothing, is he not?” The man in question grunted from the doorway. Sanha peeked at him momentarily, then looked back to his eunuch. “It’s not like I’ll be anywhere but here or the garden. Go!” His eunuch sighed and nodded, before backing away.

“I’ll see you then,  _ mama _ .” He bowed then took his leave.

Sanha waved goodbye, before turning to his companion. “Any plans you wanted to do today?”

“Whatever your highness’ plans are…” Minhyuk respectfully answered making Sanha frown. 

“Fine.” Sanha huffed, “Do whatever. I won’t be disturbed until I call for you.” If Minhyuk wanted to be treated like any other  _ servant _ of the palace, then Sanha can do so. He was tired of pretending and playing nice. As much as it was fault it ended this way between them, he was trying to make amends. He walked close to Minhyuk then without anything else, he slid the door close to this room. He stood for a moment, until he heard footsteps moving away from his room, then he sighed sadly.

“Why do I even try? I should just let him be, he’ll be gone soon anyway.” He murmured to himself. Feeling defeated, he walked to where his clothes were and changed – he needed to catch some sleep anyway.

••

The prince wasn’t sure what woke him up. But to his surprise, it was already dark. He yawned tiredly and sat up. He must have been more tired than he thought. He winced at the ache in his back, then decided. He’ll have a hot bath. He was sure Minhyuk would be deeply asleep, and so snuck out of his room and towards what he called the  _ bathing room, _ in a separate house connected only by a patio bridge. He requested this specifically and was glad that it wasn’t hard to avail it. There was a hot tub from the hot springs near the village, and he wasn’t sure how it worked but he couldn’t care less.

Sanha lit the candles, making it glow inside the dark room, but only enough for him to see just right. It was still dim but the candles gave off an intimate atmosphere. He took off his robe, then climbed into the tub, big enough for three people. He sighed contentedly, the hot water soothing him immediately. It was getting cold these days and he was glad to have decided to come. It had been awhile since he let himself just soak and relax and clear his mind. But as usual, his thoughts drifted and his mood went sour.

Minhyuk.

As always, it was always Minhyuk. Since he first met the other, there was just something about him that Sanha was attracted to, like a bee to honey. As they grew older, he thought it was just admiration, but he found it was deeper than that. Which lead to his stupidity, which lead to this almost animosity between them. He frowned and slowly sunk down in the water.

“Why?”

Sanha gasped, immediately sitting up, spluttering water. In the dimly lit room, Minhyuk stood at the entrance, Sanha was shocked not to have heard it open, staring at him. He covered his lap, though he knew at how deep and dark it was, Minhyuk wouldn’t be able to see anything unless he was in the water himself.

“What...What are you doi–”

“Why did you do it?”

Sanha stared at him in confusion. “What–”

“Sanha, don’t evade the question. For years, I asked myself why would my dearest friend betray me like that? Then when I got my dream, why did you leave? Didn’t you always say you’d stay in the palace forever?” Minhyuk spoke low, stepping closer. Sanha wished he could run away, but he couldn’t. “So why? Make me understand.” To tell the truth was almost as bad as lying. What should he say? 

Sanha looked away. “I couldn’t let you be successful. Father always treated you better–” It was a lie. 

“Stop lying.”

Sanha looked back and glared. “I’m not–”

“You can never stay still when you lie.” Minhyuk pointed to his hands, which were to Sanha’s surprise, were at the rim of the tub, tapping nervously. He immediately placed it back in the water. “Tell me the truth.”

The prince looked down. His eyes stung, and he told himself, it was water flowing down his cheeks and not his tears. “I..”

“ _ Sanha, please. _ I deserve to know.”

“It was because I couldn’t live without you.” The words spoken could never be taken back. Minhyuk already hated him anyway, what more could top that? If he’ll be disgusted at the end, it wouldn’t be anything different after. Atleast, he’ll know. “I couldn’t let you go out and not be by my side anymore.”

“ _ What?” _

Sanha shut his eyes tightly. “I then realized how selfish that was, so I let you go, but I couldn’t stay either. Too many memories. So I decided to leave. I never expected to see you again.” He took a deep breath. “I loved you for so long, and I learned if you loved something, set it free. So that’s what I did.”

The prince didn’t want to open his eyes, scared to see how Minhyuk would look at him. He already suffered through the hatred, and then the blankness aimed at him, he didn’t want to live through it again. He wouldn’t be sure what would happen this time if it were; how would he survive–

A hand tilted his head before a pair of lips sealed over his own. The prince’s eyes widened; frozen and uncertain, he couldn’t respond before Minhyuk pulled away.

“I’m sorry.” Sanha gasped as Minhyuk tilted his head to the side and gave his cheek a tender kiss, his hands cupping the prince’s neck. “If I knew…”

“Minhyuk…” Sanha’s voice was a mere whisper, not knowing what just happened. His heart was thumping with joy, his mind has yet to catch on.

“If I knew you loved me too, I would have done these years ago.” Minhyuk hoarsely spoke, lips pressed against Sanha’s cheek. He hovered over him, by the tub’s side. “I...always spoke of leaving the palace, only because I couldn’t stand being by your side without having you by mine. You’re a prince, and I...I have no title. We’re both men… I knew one day, you might marry and I couldn’t bear to see that with my own two eyes so I kept telling myself I needed to leave.” Minhyuk huffed, placing another kiss. Sanha’s hands moved away from the water, moving up to hold Minhyuk’s wrists. An anchor. “But then you had to do what you did, I...hated you but not because you stopped me from leaving but because I had to stay with you without being able to be with you. The worst kind of torture...then you let me go…” Minhyuk pulled away, looking into Sanha’s eyes. “You let me go.”

“I did…” Sanha trailed, eyes filling with tears. His mind finally catching on. Was it sad tears? happy tears?

“I had to leave...and I thought I could do it. But at the opportunity to go back, I find that you left. It hurt… So I looked for you and...here we are…” 

They gazed at each other for a long while. Minhyuk’s fingers trailing Sanha’s cheeks, almost like he was memorizing them. The prince was too busy finally looking at his only, the person who finally  _ looked _ at him and met his eyes. The eyes that were filled with regret, adoration...love.

“I love you.” Minhyuk whispered and Sanha closed his eyes, throat tight with emotion. He felt  _ so _ happy. His head was brought closer and lips pressed against his temple. “I  _ love...you.” _

***

Sanha smiled as he sat at the bonfire, the rest of the villagers gathered around for the nightly tale. His smile grew bigger as a hand pressed against his back secretly, before a body sat beside him.

“You’re just in time for the ending.” Sanha whispered, leaning in discreetly against Minhyuk’s side.

“Hmm. Sorry, I had to fix some tools for your garden.” Minhyuk apologized, his hand pressing lightly against Sanha’s back. “Now, stop distracting, we’ll miss the ending.”

Sanha huffed a laugh and they tuned back in. Everyone’s rapt attention were focused, gazes serious and curious as the storyteller spoke.

“And so, with these last few words, our tale has ended with her majesty’s love as she said…

_ In thy heart, it has only been you.” _

**Author's Note:**

> I went through some tough things, and I felt better for a little bit and decided to finish this one.... I hope you wait patiently for the next, I just need to focus my attention on more important things...
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


End file.
